I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
