Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
