giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
