Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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