Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
