Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
