apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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