i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have aggressive nipples.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
