I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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