Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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