Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
