this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's the barista slut.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
