There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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