I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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