Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
