There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
