Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
