what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
