its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
