remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
