God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
