so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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