i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
