she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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