Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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