You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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