Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
