Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
