so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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