Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
