You work out of a Hotel?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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