he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
