Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Holy sore nipples Batman
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
