So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
