omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
