I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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