dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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