What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
