Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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