I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
