just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
