I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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