dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
