Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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