1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
