I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
