Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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