The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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