My first STD was from a foam party
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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