saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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