So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
