I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think i have two assholes
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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